I honestly didn’t think that would happen and I could not be happier. It is a confidence boost, a reassuring nod that tells me ‘hey, I can do this’…
… because sometimes we think we can’t.
Everyone has doubts that the path they have chosen is not the right one, that their ambitions and goals in life are just that – never to be reached. And throughout the last five months, applying for placements, I have had those feelings of doubt from time to time, but none stronger than this previous Tuesday (10th April). I woke up and it hit me, I wanted to hibernate and cry, but I had no idea why I was feeling like this – I have no financial worries at the moment, all my university work is on track & I have spend this easter break seeing friends as well as continuously applying for jobs. Yet this past Tuesday I felt grey and out of place. At 3.45pm I left the house and brought the biggest coffee frappuccino (a new addiction from starbucks) and walked the long way home, it was on my way back that I realised I just felt deflated and un-motivated because I had hit the point of thinking I would never get a placement offer and that I wasn’t good enough. And then i saw a poster in the window of a local barber shop that said something about Ambition and how that is inside you. It is stupid that I read that and thought “Caitlin, stop feeling sorry for yourself and get out there and work” – two days later and I had two big opportunities.
I couldn’t be happier that I am in this situation, however I didn’t read that poster & work like crazy, I just went home and send two emails and decided not to cancel an evening at the pub with a few friends. I just realised that I will always have days of feeling blue & you have to fight through it.
Growing up is always going to have its ups and downs & applying for jobs is just the same.